Through a Different Lens

How do you see yourself?

Are you critical of yourself?

When someone gives you a compliment, how loud is the voice in your head which denies that which has been given so freely?

For most of us, the voice is loud and powerful and denies the compliments...denies that we are deserving of the words so feely given. And, it never seems to matter that we might hear the compliments several times or from several sources, don't we fall back on the negative voice in our head?

Have you ever asked yourself why you do this? Why should we trust one negative voice over even one positive voice? Why do the negative voices carry so much more weight? Is it because the negative voices confirm our "truth" - the notion that "if they only knew the REAL me they would see that they are wrong?"

I invite you to consider that the negative voice might be WRONG!

Blasphemy on my part, I'm sure. And yet, not. No one is as critical as we are of ourselves. Could this be because others look past our flaws, our wrinkles, our few extra pounds, our bad hair days to see the quality and the character that better defines you? And while they are looking past these things, we take the strongest magnifying glass and examine them and find ourselves to blame for their existence. And maybe we are responsible for not having said no to that extra delicious, hot donut (or two) or for having chosen to not do something that works our muscles on any given day. But consider the notion of seeing your "faults" from a different perspective.

The aging process is not a kind one. For some, more so than others, but still, it affects us all. So, consider this.....the next time you notice a new line to your Crow's Foot Collection (designer label?), remember all the laughter that went into creating them. When you see a furrowed brow, remember that you are a kind soul who worried enough about someone else to furrow that brow. When you look at the arms or belly or thighs that are no longer what they once were, remember that you might have birthed and nursed a child, held loved ones, comforted friends in times of quiet or sadness or passion - those very arms and bellies and thighs have been strong enough, comforting enough for another. Bless these parts of your body if you can. It's about looking at ourselves from a different perspective. Look at yourself as you look at others. Why do they deserve any more than you do? Does it feel selfish? Or have we become self-less...thinking, feeling, believing that we are less-than if we are not perfect.

Be kind to yourself. And while I do not mean for us to simply accept and not work toward being the best me that I can be, accept that we are the sum of every moment, both good and bad, happy and sad, of our lives. Each of those moments are a part of us to our core, our cellular level. They are the visible memories that we carry. You are the sum of all of these parts.