It's ok to breathe first!

If you've ever flown on a plane, you know that safety procedures are shared almost before the plane leaves the gate. You'll hear that there are exits in the front, the rear and over the wings of the plane. If you are traveling over water, you may hear that your seat cushions can be used as a flotation devise. You will also then hear, that if the cabin loses pressure, oxygen masks will fall from the ceiling and the flight attendants will demonstrate how you secure the masks on your face. They will also advise that if you are traveling with small children or the elderly, you........

What do you do?

Who gets the mask first?

If you answered that your children do, you are among the majority. Most people will answer this way.
And yet.....that's incorrect.

"WHAT?" you ask in shock. How on earth could you suggest that to me? My children are precious and I must save them first. (Of course, they are precious and of course you will do what you must to save them - so, read on!)

In actuality, you are called to secure YOUR OWN MASK first and then see to the children or elderly.

"But, I can't do that. It would be so SELFISH!"

I'll come back to the idea of selfish but first I want you to stop and consider WHY they tell you this. Consider that if the cabin loses pressure, you will likely be witnessing a scene out of an "Airplane" movie: people upset, anxious, screaming and flailing about. Imagine trying to calm someone else during the chaos as you try to get their mask properly affixed. What happens if it takes some time to accomplish this? What happens to YOU and your brain, as you are deprived of oxygen? In all seriousness, if you take care of yourself, your brain will be nourished and happy and you'll be able to take care of all those around you. Now imagine that the plane recovers and goes about it's merry way. Perhaps you will have saved your child(ren) but what will become of them if you have not gotten to your own oxygen in time?

So, it would be selfish, huh? What did you learn about selfish when you were growing up? Selfish is doing for yourself and not doing for others, right?

Maybe that's only part of the picture.

I checked out the definition of selfish at Merriam-Webster and here is what I discovered:

1 : concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others
2 : arising from concern with one's own welfare or advantage in disregard of others
3 : being an actively replicating repetitive sequence of nucleic acid that serves no known function ; also : being genetic material solely concerned with its own replication

Now, I added the bold italics because I loved seeing these definitions and the degree or intensity of personal concern, advantage or well-being that is noted. Doesn't this suggest that there is a degree of self-care or thought that comes before excessiveness takes over?

I want you to consider this for yourself. What I tend to find is that more people become SELF-LESS instead of selfish. It's as if the "I/me" gets lost because of how we do not want to be perceived by others.

Now, I am not suggesting that you pack up and move to Selfishville. Nor do I want you to take up permanent residency in Selfless Town. I want to encourage you to consider what you NEED and WANT to do for yourself in order to continue to take care of others in that lovely little burb known as Balance. Without balance we can become irritated and resentful. And that, my friends, is a story for another day.

Take care of you!