It's ok to breathe first!

If you've ever flown on a plane, you know that safety procedures are shared almost before the plane leaves the gate. You'll hear that there are exits in the front, the rear and over the wings of the plane. If you are traveling over water, you may hear that your seat cushions can be used as a flotation devise. You will also then hear, that if the cabin loses pressure, oxygen masks will fall from the ceiling and the flight attendants will demonstrate how you secure the masks on your face. They will also advise that if you are traveling with small children or the elderly, you........

What do you do?

Who gets the mask first?

If you answered that your children do, you are among the majority. Most people will answer this way.
And yet.....that's incorrect.

"WHAT?" you ask in shock. How on earth could you suggest that to me? My children are precious and I must save them first. (Of course, they are precious and of course you will do what you must to save them - so, read on!)

In actuality, you are called to secure YOUR OWN MASK first and then see to the children or elderly.

"But, I can't do that. It would be so SELFISH!"

I'll come back to the idea of selfish but first I want you to stop and consider WHY they tell you this. Consider that if the cabin loses pressure, you will likely be witnessing a scene out of an "Airplane" movie: people upset, anxious, screaming and flailing about. Imagine trying to calm someone else during the chaos as you try to get their mask properly affixed. What happens if it takes some time to accomplish this? What happens to YOU and your brain, as you are deprived of oxygen? In all seriousness, if you take care of yourself, your brain will be nourished and happy and you'll be able to take care of all those around you. Now imagine that the plane recovers and goes about it's merry way. Perhaps you will have saved your child(ren) but what will become of them if you have not gotten to your own oxygen in time?

So, it would be selfish, huh? What did you learn about selfish when you were growing up? Selfish is doing for yourself and not doing for others, right?

Maybe that's only part of the picture.

I checked out the definition of selfish at Merriam-Webster and here is what I discovered:

1 : concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others
2 : arising from concern with one's own welfare or advantage in disregard of others
3 : being an actively replicating repetitive sequence of nucleic acid that serves no known function ; also : being genetic material solely concerned with its own replication

Now, I added the bold italics because I loved seeing these definitions and the degree or intensity of personal concern, advantage or well-being that is noted. Doesn't this suggest that there is a degree of self-care or thought that comes before excessiveness takes over?

I want you to consider this for yourself. What I tend to find is that more people become SELF-LESS instead of selfish. It's as if the "I/me" gets lost because of how we do not want to be perceived by others.

Now, I am not suggesting that you pack up and move to Selfishville. Nor do I want you to take up permanent residency in Selfless Town. I want to encourage you to consider what you NEED and WANT to do for yourself in order to continue to take care of others in that lovely little burb known as Balance. Without balance we can become irritated and resentful. And that, my friends, is a story for another day.

Take care of you!

The Full of Food Sigh

Have you ever heard of this phenomenon? I had not until recently a good friend named Rhonda and I were talking about - what else? weight loss. She told me about the "sigh" that signals when we have reached fullness and SHOULD STOP EATING! This of course caught my attention enough that it was over a full week later that I became aware of it. Last night I was eating my dinner, slowly, consciously and thoughtfully eating when I realized that I sighed! As much as my eyes wanted to complete the plate of food, I stopped. And I sat there for a moment to let it all register - isn't that the purpose of being mindful of our eating? I realized that I was indeed feeling comfortably full and there was food still on my plate. Now that? was a definite first! And so, I was able to clear the food and clean the kitchen and feel comfortably satiated.

I attended a workshop on Friday featuring Frank Kros from the UpsideDown Brain Organization. It was awesome and while the focus was indeed on the brain and ADD/ADHD, there was certainly some learning for me about the "parts" of the brain. So, there is this tiny little portion of the brain called the Hypothalmus which controls, among other things, body temperature and food satiation. This is the wonderful part of our body which tells us that we are full, if we listen to it and pay attention! While I also knew that natural light is important for our well-being, I also learned that natural light positively affects the hypothalmus. If we get too little, it decreases serotonin production - not a good thing - Serotonin helping us to produce "happy" and all. I'm sure that in future posts I'll be talking about all that I am learning about the brain because it is truly a fascinating organ and I continue to be amazed how little we realize, in our day-to-day operations what is actually going on in these bodies of ours. Therefore, important to take care of it and nurture it well. Until later......pay attention to the sigh and see how it changes your life!

Why weight?

Is losing weight one of your New Year’s resolutions? If so, you are not alone. But then, you know that. We live in a world where obesity is at epidemic proportions and we hear about it often. What does it say about our world where it makes the news to identify the fattest city in the country? What makes them fat? What makes us fat?

I don’t have the answers. If I did, I might have some great books on the subject and obesity and poor health would no longer be issues. Perhaps I’ll work on that in 2009.

Is this your first time to resolve to lose weight? If you are among the majority of adults in the country, the answer is likely a resounding “NO”.

Why?

Well, it’s likely because whether you lost weight last year or the year before, or even before that, you’ve regained the weight. When you noticed the pounds start to return, one tiny pound at a time, what did you think? Probably little at the time….”oh, it’s just one pound….that’ll come off soon enough”…until it’s 5 pounds and then 10 and, well, you know the drill.

Is it failure? Is it lack of control? Is it weakness?

No. I do not think that it is.

I think that it’s something more and I’m going to continue to look at that closely this year - for myself, my family and my clients.

Bless Oprah’s heart, when she loses, we applaud her. When she gains, we feel her pain. Dang, if Oprah can’t do it with a trainer and cook and all the good stuff that accompanies accomplishment, then how can we expect to become successful? Remain successful? I don’t mean to be mean, but this morning I noticed that Al Roker had put on some weight. This is not meant critically, but just observation. Can you imagine what it must be like to go through the process, have people watch you, encourage you and praise you for your success and then reverse the process? Of course you can imagine it! How many times have you experienced it, yet not on television, in front of millions of people around the world?

I’ve talked with many people who’ve undergone drastic measures like gastric by-pass talk about re-gaining their weight. How frustrating that must be for them! They took very drastic measures to save their lives and found that it was not the cure-all. As the new year has unfolded, I’ve watched many commercials for weight loss food, exercise, bars to fill you up. I went to see a movie the other day and there was an advertisement for a doctor specializing in gastric by-pass surgery. He offered limo service and the ad appeared to speak to the upper echelon of society. He was, of course, rail-thin.

So, doesn’t that say that it’s not about the food - literally less about what we’re eating that what’s eating at us?

Some things to consider in the days to come: why are you eating at any given moment? When is the last time you felt truly hungry? What does satisfied mean to you? If food is my friend, would I let a friend treat me this way? These questions may spur you toward finding answers for yourself. If you need help, call me. Listening and helping people find answers is where my passion lies. I can help.

I plan to look at each of these in the coming days and see where “Just some thoughts…” can lead us in 2009.

"I've never been better!"

Are you frustrated? Overwhelmed? Tired? Melancholy?

If you stop to look at your minutes, days, or weeks, what do you see?

I, personally, want to remember how grateful I am, how blessed my life is each and every day. Today, I've been reminded of it twice and that says something to me.

Earlier today I had a conversation with an incredible woman, a great friend and inspiration in my life. She told me that she plans to distance herself from negativity in this coming year. We discussed how easily it is to get caught up in the negativity and get sucked into its grip. If we look at it that way, we have no power over our own lives. I believe that if we don't have power over our lives, then we are choosing to give it to another.

Who, or what, are you giving your power to when negativity strikes?

After dinner, I read an article by Karen Rauch Carter, author of "Move Your Stuff, Change Your Life" and I was reminded of this yet again.....does it take a tree falling to help me realize or remember this stuff? It's easy folks....let's get it, shall we. Karen brought up the fact that we were angry and complaining only 4-5 months ago about the price of gas. It probably created more conversations than the state of the weather. In the recent months, how many times have any of us expressed, out loud, our gratitude that the prices have fallen so drastically? I will admit that I have and yet, probably not as much as I should, or would like to. I want to encourage you to join me on a path toward daily gratitude.

We hear it from time to time - from Oprah down to little ole' me - BE GRATEFUL! Thank someone, something! What do we miss when we are busy complaining and being negative? Well, I'd be willing to bet we miss a lot of POSITIVITY because, well, negative begets negative and therefore......might positive beget positive?

So here's an experiment....no, wait, before I suggest the experiment, let me tell you a story.

Years ago I worked for an agency in which I was fortunate enough to be able to travel to some incredible place with some really incredible people. It is a great set of memories in my life! Anyway, on several of these trips, there was a gentleman, one of the corporate guys and he was always so very pleasant. You'd say hello and ask how he was and inevitably he would answer "I've never been better!". I loved this! Every single time I saw him, or saw him greet someone else, this is what he said. And it visibly changed the situation, I observed.

So, I started saying it. Even on the days when I felt lower than low, angry, frustrated, tired, you-name-it, I would answer people in the manner of this great man - "Never better!". Instantly I would see a change in people as if they did not expect anyone to respond in this way. What a bittersweet thought, really. So, I say it and continue to get the same response and love that it seems to lift someone else's spirit. And further, it lifts my own. So, truly, I might be in a less-than-wonderful-mood, but when I say those simple words, I feel lighter and more hopeful, as if it could possibly be true. I make it so!

So let's return to the experiment. If you are reading my blog....well, first off - THANK YOU! And if you are reading this, I'd like you to try these two things, beginning tonight.

1. Be grateful. You have a computer from which to read. You know HOW to read. You are curious about the world and what other people might have to say which might be important to you and those you know. You are likely sitting in a climate controlled room, full from, or anticipating a good dinner. You will go to bed comfortably tonight. Perhaps you will simply be grateful that a not-so-great-day has ended. Be grateful.
2. Respond "Never better!" with ooomph when someone asks you how you are. You really don't need to expound on it - simply say it! Say it loud, say it proud. Observe any change in the energy around you both. Lift your spirits and then lift those of people around you! As in the movie - Pay It Forward.

Try this for a week. Let me know your experience. When you do, I'll gladly present you with a spoken word meditation of your choice from My Calming Mall. Go forth and spread POSITIVITY! Make it contagious!

Oh, and by the way, I'm grateful tonight. For all of the things listed above, for the ability to care for my grandmother, my clients, my friends. For the knowledge that self-care is vitally important and that even baby-steps in that direction are a complete and total success! I'm grateful for tomorrow. I'm grateful that we have the ability to change our world, even if it takes tiny, baby steps. I'm grateful for my life, my home, my family. For you taking the time to read this.

Relax into the new year....

Through New Year's Eve, I'm offering a 20% discount on all spoken word meditations, videos or music collections through My Calming Mall. If you are considering a change toward health in the coming year, consider my EZWalk program at 25% discount. Simply enter the discount code of 'chmas2008' when prompted and receive your discount at check-out! Download and enjoy this gift of relaxation for yourself or someone you love.

Will you give yourself 2 minutes?

Ok, just to be fair, it is 2 minutes, 30 seconds! So splurge on the extra 30 seconds and see if you feel any differently.

Anyway, Christmas has come and gone for another year. This was truly a wonderful Christmas for us all. My family focused this year on celebrating all that we have in a changing world - we create and become the glue that holds us all together, giving comfort and strength \to one another when needed. We are truly blessed to have had great moments, wonderful memories (a graceful "bye-bye" ending), great food and hope for the coming year.

While I never want to wish Christmas to hurry, I was physically aware of the toll it took this year. For the past 2 weeks, I planned to rest my body and mind on the 26th and I did! And yes, I was the quintessential couch-potato queen and proud of it! I do not do that often and so, I'm proud of myself for taking it. Stayed in the jammies, never venturing far from the couch and the TV! Mindless, dribble. No laundry, minimal cooking and only walked outside for good phone reception when I spoke with my sister or grandmother.

Several gifts come to mind from my lazy yesterday - I got it out of my system! I relished it, enjoyed it and immersed myself in it. I feel good today. I don't feel deprived or lazy at all! And, today, I've pretty much gotten back on track and the house is quiet while I work. I've been up for a very long while (the joys of getting a few more years under the belt, I hear) and feel that I've accomplished a lot.

So, did you take time to watch the video? I am very aware that time is of the essence in our world and every moment is precious. I'm challenging myself to create more powerful, thoughtful, creative moments for myself in 2009. By creative, I do not necessarily mean task-oriented. I mean creative moments that nurture and guide and enliven our spirits! Will you join me on this journey? How many minutes a day can you ~ WILL YOU ~ commit to self-care? Perhaps you'll come back here and watch my relaxation clip? Perhaps you'll visit my calming mall and give yourself 7-10 minutes of spoken word meditation or music to fall back on. Today's video music is "Pure Drift", a new piece of music that will soon be available for download.

Nurturing. The Nurtured Heart Approach to parenting challenges that a mere 600 seconds a day can change your child's behavior patterns - that's a mere 10 minutes, folks and it does work! So, here you are, taking 120-150 seconds for yourself. Can you feel the change? Perhaps in your pinky finger, your left ear lobe, the shoulders that dropped a centimeter lower than the moment before? I'm asking you to consider the tiny changes that you can make toward your greater good, your greater peace.

I used to practice yoga and loved it so very much. I'm longing to return to it for all the good that it does a body, mind and spirit. On occasion, I remember that you can deepen a yoga pose by breathing into it, lengthening and strengthening the muscles gently, not forcefully. I invite you to gently move into some new practices this year. How many years have we 'resolved' to lose weight, quit smoking, do something and the force simply was not lasting, leaving us feeling tired, frustrated and failed. Go gently into this new year. So many things we cannot change in our greater world. Let me help you make the tiny, significant changes that allow you to better cope with all that we cannot change. Breathe deeply. Rest well.

Stress Free Shopping?

Sixteen shopping days remain for this year's holiday season.

Have you finished your shopping? Do you dread the idea of even getting near a shopping mall just now? I know that I do. And yet, I love the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. It's as if the world comes alive in a little bit of a different way. I love the lights, the colors, the decorations, the Christmas carols, the smell of the trees. When I walk into a store selling trees, I get very close and breathe deeply - the smell of Christmas is in the trees, the cookies and even in the winter cold days. Ok, we don't have so many wintry cold days here on the coast so I hold the memory of each one dearly.

I have written before about relaxation music and mediations that I offer to my clients. I love the music that I offer and it can be heard in my office every single day, because it does calm and quiet the mind and soothe the spirit. Many of my clients comment on how good it feels to come in and just settle into the session.

I want to invite you to sample this for yourself. Throughout the month of December, I'm offering a 20% discount on all spoken word meditations, calming and inspiring videos. With savings like this, you might even choose a piece of music or two to add to the mix. Or, if you have difficulty deciding, you might opt for one of the compilations such as "Dream", "Breathe" or one especially for children is "Cool Days".

In addition to the above, I'm also inviting you to get a head start on that pesky New Year's Resolution by enjoying 25% discount on EZWalk, a progressive 6-week walking program that includes a companion booklet.

All of the above can be downloaded directly onto your computer or iPod. Or, you might choose one for a friend: once you've shopped for them, you'll receive an acknowledgement. If you've purchased a gift for a friend, teacher or hostess, simply forward the e-mail to them with a greeting from you. How simple and stress-free can that be?

I wish for you calm moments during the remainder of this holiday season. I know that times are challenging, and yet our homes can, and hopefully ARE, the place we can go at the end of the day to recharge our batteries. Breathe deeply and enjoy each moment.